You like to think of yourself as apathetic, thus detaching yourself from other people either because you don’t see the worth in interacting with them, or because you are afraid of disappointing yourself and disappointing others. It is true you are shy and soft-spoken and whenever you talk with anybody you have to grapple in the dark silent encloses of your mind for words, for wit, for catalysts of conversation, and it drains the energy out of you. So you’ve tried to adapt an “I don’t particularly care” philosophy; conservation of energy has become your motto. But without opening your heart to others, they will likewise never open theirs to you. Thus you will never know love.
Realize that it is in your best interest to challenge yourself. Find the will to break down the walls of your comfort zone because that will is in you, somewhere, I’m sure of it. You might have to beat yourself down to keep from reverting back to old tendencies. You definitely will have to study harder, take more classes, endure more pain. But it is this pain that will open up new paths; it is this pain that will change you for the better.
Hiroomi Nase - Kyoukai no Kanata 8